yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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