Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Shame is for Republicans.
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