Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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