Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
