Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
