Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
