she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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