Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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