you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
