I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
