your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
