Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
