Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
