Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
