did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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