how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
