Christians are straight up FREAKS
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
