nut hugger
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
