Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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