Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
