If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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