I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
