Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
