Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
