This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
