chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm getting married
To pizza
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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