Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
