I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
