My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
