You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
