Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Girls should come with a carfax report
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
