Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
