just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
