I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
