some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
