You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
