I wish I could punch you in the face.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
