11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
