She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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