I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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