Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
