We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize