Define "chronic" masturbator.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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