Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
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