i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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