i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
