Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
