You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
