honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
