Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
