i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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