I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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