There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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