I could have mohawked her pubes.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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