She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
